Oh Hi Mark.

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Freshman Year

Well, today was the last day of my freshman year at Cal State Fullerton; I have gained a lot during this year, and although I wasn’t as busy socially as my high school senior year, I was occupied in all of the right ways. I am not the same person I was last year, as cliche as that sounds, I’ve grown emotionally, physically, and my mind set is different.

The path I drew in high school is now a fork in the road or rather a million forks in the road. I am not sure what I want to major in anymore, originally, I was majoring in chemistry, but after a semester of that I realized that it wasn’t really me and that I felt pressured to be a chemistry major. This led me to be undeclared and not sure in what I want to do, I’ve learned this year that my passion is more towards the humanities section and I will probably major in something from there. One thing I am extremely interested in is philosophy, the ability to critically think and think in a way that most humans do not try to. My first semester my grades were mediocre and I was unmotivated to work in a major I wasn’t all that interested in, but this semester my grades were great and I studied often and worked relatively hard, because I enjoyed learning the ropes of different types of studies. I’ve grown used to the commute, at first the idea of being in a car 3 hours a day for a couple times a week nearly gave me a migraine, but I’ve enjoyed the ride on some occasions, it offers a good time to clear my head while listening to music. My taste in music has expanded immensely, I’ve begin to dip into different genres, bands, artists, and I usually just download an album and listen to it to and from school, allowing me to experiment with my interests regarding music.

I’m more confident in who I am and am more willing to show it as well. Before this year, I was more awkward, shy, and somewhat of a downer, but people enjoyed my company. Since this year I’ve started to dress the way I want to and voice my opinions louder. I’m much more confrontational now, especially if I believe someone is in the wrong. I realized that I get walked on too much and that I’m tired of that so I decided to start standing up for myself and if a friend doesn’t make the effort I do, or negatively affects my happiness I’ll drop them. About one or two of my friends broke apart from me because they wanted to, or because we started changing, and it is lame, but hey that’s life. I’m a giver in my life, I give people a lot more than I take, and I still do that, but I’m much less willing to give second chances now because people simply don’t change.

My college life would be looked at by many as dull because I never went to a frat party of anything, and hey that’s fine by me. I enjoyed a majority of my time in Murrieta hanging out with Rachael and other friends in town; that’s the problem with commuting though, either commute and have little college life, or live on campus and live the life. I’ve made friends though, quite a few, they’re interesting and we share common interests, though I doubt I’ll feel as close to them as with my old friends. Parties, alcohol, drugs and hook ups don’t interest me anymore, and I look at them and think they’re often silly as why someone would do that, but hey different strokes for different folks for their fun. I enjoy what I do, learn, love, listen to great music, watch some of the best television series’ ever made, and slowly reaching self-actualization. The ideas of freshman dorms don’t interest me in the slightest, just about anyone I’ve met that lives in them are annoying, trying so hard to fit a college persona, that they come off as a boring, predictable person (hell, 9/10 times I’m right that someone sucks). The majority of the most interesting people I’ve met commute to school, they have interesting stories usually, not just a story about who did what on their floor, what happened at the party, or why they’re so independent now that they can microwave easy mac and get a C+ average without their parents nagging them. I’m glad that I commuted for my first year, I believe it’s made me more independent than a majority who lived on campus their first year. 

Overall, college has been an interesting experience, I’m more intelligent than I was my senior year. I thought I knew it all, but I know a lot more information this year and yet, I still know that there is an infinite amount to learn in life. I’m more optimistic about the future and what it could hold. I enjoy the learning aspect of college, it is stimulating my brain in all of the right ways, hell I could have much more intelligent conversations now and I know that in one more year I’ll think I was dumb for thinking that I was smart my freshman year. I am excited for more college, but first I need this three month break, or I’ll break. So here’s to the future, whatever it may hold.